One of Gestalt therapy’s concepts is that of polarities, which refers to opposing forces the individuals possess.
Each quality that we hold is at one end of a continuum and is accompanied by the opposite end of that continuum. For example, as we possess an ability to love, we also possess an ability to hate. Just as the light needs the dark for it to exist, each quality has its polar opposite. One can imagine the yin and yang, which links to concepts of duality and interconnectedness. When we focus on our self-concept, there are some qualities, which we more or less, own or disown.
Below are a few examples of polarities in relation to self-concept:
- Kindness & Cruelty
- Selflessness & Selfishness
- Spontaneity & Rigidity
- Warmth & Coldness
- Friendliness & Distance
To achieve a healthy functioning, each polarity needs to be extended so that both sides have a better range on the continuum. The individual needs to stand between the tensions of these two opposites. For example, one can understand that at times they need to be friendly with others, while at other times they need to keep their distance. By becoming more aware of our polarities, we can allow extensions of them both; hence, a space is created for a complete and differentiated experience.
A type of polarity we can perhaps all relate to is the Top dog and Underdog. The Top dog refers to the voice of what the individual should do, while the Underdog is the voice which is more spontaneous, rebellious and impulsive (our free spirit).
An example of these two can be:
Top dog: I really must go for a run and be more physically active.
Underdog: Never mind that, I want to lie on the sofa watching a movie.
The above example creates a form of ‘split’ in the individual. In therapy, this can be worked through the Empty chair technique, where the client is encouraged to enter a role-play for each part, role-playing the split created. This allows exploration of what is being said in the argument and the process of the dialogue, for example, how one part spoke to the other part. The expression from both sides, allows the therapist to mediate between the two, aiming towards achieving integration and appreciation of one other.
Something to remember when we are facing conflict between two polarities is asking ourselves if this is an internal or an external conflict imposed from the outside environment.
Polarities are inner conflicts everyone faces. The two extremes on the spectrum can be worked through by integrating both sides into one.